Bridget’s Book Of (the first) 10 Dating Rules

January 20, 2010 by Just Bridget
Filed under Advice, Dating, Relationships, Sex

I’d like to share a couple of rules from my own evolving book…

“Dating didn’t come with an instruction book so I wrote my own”

- I swear I’m going to publish it soon! Very cool that it also mirrors many of the survey answers we asked of our men -

Be honest. If you like him – tell him, if you have something you think he may eventually find out about – tell him. Its better to hear it from you with your side of the story than to hear it in mixed company or from someone else. It will also set the tone for what you expect of him. Caution: Timing is everything. Do NOT show up and throw up! Do NOT put out all your cards at once!
Expect honesty. As long as you’re told the truth you know what you’re dealing with. Its the unknown that becomes a monster! Let him know this is what you expect. He’ll either step up to the plate or move on to low hanging fruit. The easy catch that will tolerate his poor behavior.
Never allow a man to buy you a drink until you know you want him to sit with you for the rest of the evening. Its an ‘earned’ privilege. This could take 3 seconds, 3 minutes or 3 hours. (Or 2 months) Observe him. Talk to him. Unless you’re just out to get buzzed and you don’t care who you do it with. (Yuck).
Never meet an Internet date at a coffee shop (but review #5). They need to take you to a nice restaurant – even if you only have coffee, a soda or a glass of wine. Its the ambiance, the atmosphere. It sets the tone. And if it goes so well you’re there for a couple hours – it may lead into a meal together!
Never meet an Internet date for a meal the first time out. You don’t want to be stuck with someone for an hour or two when you know its not a connection in 3 minutes.
Never double down. (Unless…..) You’ve heard about this. Two dates in one day. But busy gals do need to make the most of our time. Spread those dates apart. Far apart. Say, morning and evening. Not happy hour and dinner. There’s less chance of running into your next date, and more of a chance you’ll be relaxed.
Do allow him to kiss you – if you want. Its a great feeling to connect with someone in a kiss.
Experience different things to see different sides of their personality – inside, outside. You don’t know someone until you’ve seen them in an uncomfortable situation, or when they’re angry. This takes time. If you’re ‘dating’ make sure you have a variety of plans with a variety of people or groups.
Always communicate what you’re feeling. Whether you’re nervous, happy, amazed… according to our survey of ‘real men’ they really want to hear! They don’t like the unknown anymore than we do. If we don’t tell them they’ll be left to guessing!
If this is a man you think you want a relationship with, and you want to eventually test drive the sexual energy, always communicate your feelings about sex, and intimacy. They want to know you’re into them – even if you’re not ready. Its okay not to sleep with someone even though you’re super attracted to him!!! Which leads me to the question – don’t you want to actually like the person you’ve just been intimate with???