Friends With Benefits

“To FB or not to FB”

If you’re not familiar with the term FB it is “Friend with Benefits” (that’s the “G” rated version!). Most of us single gals in our 40’s or 50’s look, act and feel much younger than our chronological age. I am 50, but am told all the time I look a decade younger. I am also single and have been for two and a half years. I date and meet men…so far none have produced that “spark” I am (we all are) looking for. When I was younger I would not sleep with a man unless he was relationship potential. Now we know that does not hold true for most men. We all need affection and attention to help us feel good and or sexy. That’s where an FB may a good “in-between” person to fulfill certain needs without the commitment.

There are very clear rules should you venture into the FB territory. This really is a partnership that you must be able to handle and take the warm & fuzzy’s out of (but not the fun). It must be discussed and ground rules set in the very beginning. Since this is my first “FB” I am going to relate my experience because it has worked so well.

Last year I met a man at a very large wine tasting event; there was some attraction so we met up after the event. We talked (and had a few drinks) and decided that we would like to “sleep together”. We were (are) both single and dating. I was the one who asked him if this arraignment might be something he would be interested in (He’s a man…enough said). We both agreed to be tested for HIV and any STD’s…A MUST. We both agreed that we didn’t want to date each other or enter into a relationship. We have become very good friends who enjoy “benefits” and we are very clear there are no strings attached. He is a really nice man, funny, charming and we really like things just the way they are. We have no set schedule, sometimes it may just be a good old “booty call”. We have agreed that should either one of us enter into a monogamous relationship this will end.

I can’t stress the importance of laying the ground rules from the very beginning and both agreeing the stick to them. This is not for everyone, but it is an option for those of you who may have thought about it and may want to try it. I didn’t think I was capable as a woman because of the “feelings” that may develop in an intimate relationship, but so far so good… the arrangement has helped us both not dive into an unwanted physical relationship with another person just for the sake of intimacy.  It keeps us both ’satisfied’ while leaving us open for a potential relationship – thus…

You CAN Have Your Sex Cake and Eat It Too !

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